


Goddamn Stupid Pickuplines

by Aziraphale_WinchesterNovak



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bad Smut, F/M, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, M/M, Minor Character Death, Not Really Important Though, Pick-Up Lines, Polyamory, Sex Toys, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-04-02 01:40:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4040791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aziraphale_WinchesterNovak/pseuds/Aziraphale_WinchesterNovak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of how a professor and a mechanic found a little red-headed Siren and decided to keep her</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, first things first:  
> I wrote this at ass o'clock in the morning and was high on some medicine, I'm a virgin (I know how sex works theoretically) and have no idea how BDSM actually works. In this one it's kind of light (not even sure if it classifies as BDSM), but if I made some grave error or portrayed anything incorrectly (about the BDSM and Polyarmory), please please PLEASE tell me and I will try to fix it. The actual sex part is in chapter 2, if anyone wants to skip the crappy sexting that happens there...
> 
> And yes, I had to get Cas's Leviathan-line in, mostly cause it gives me all sorts of nasty ideas ;)
> 
> Anyway, sorry for the length of that note here and I hope you enjoy... Feedback is always appreciated (Give me comments, pleeeeeeeeeease)

Cas startled as the black Chevy Impala cut him off on the driveway of his house. Clutching his chest, he glared at the driver, his boyfriend Dean. The aforementioned blonde-haired man laughed, throwing his head back and bearing his throat, confusing Cas momentarily. Still chuckling slightly, he got out of the car and kissed the raven-haired man.  
“Hey, Angel. How was your day?” Trying to get his mind back on track, Cas took a deep breath.  
“It was okay. The students didn't give me that hard of a time and the topic of the lecture wasn't too boring. How bout yours?”  
“Ah, some idiot wanted me to somehow make the parts for his car arrive faster, the usual. Although we got a 54 Bentley in for restoration. So that's cool.” Cas chuckled.  
“Good to know the classic car thing is picking up.” Dean smiled back brightly and kissed him again.  
“Yeah. Zoe really did a good job on the website and the networking stuff.” Slowly they made their way up to their front door. “Speaking of our little Siren, I got a little surprise in there for you.” With that, Dean kissed Cas's cheek and unlocked the front door. “Just wait here for exactly five minutes and then come in.” After that, his boyfriend disappeared into the house.  
Staring at the closed door confused, Cas wondered what Dean had planned. Well, if his smirk was anything to go by, they were lucky they lived a bit out of town and didn't have any neighbors that would complain about the noise. And what did Zoe have to do with anything? The third part of their, admittedly strange, relationship was supposed to be off at college. Sure, he missed her like hell, but he didn't want to interfere with her education at the MIT. Smiling at the memory of the red-headed, blue-eyed Siren, Cas remembered how they had met.

(Flashback)

 

“Would you quit touching me?”  
Dean immediately looked in the direction of the voice. They, he and Cas, were at their favorite bar, celebrating their three year anniversary, when the slightly panicked female voice caught their attention. Both took a while to find the woman that spoke.  
“Seriously! Take your fucking hands off me!”  
Cas felt his mouth drop open. That was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Pale, soft face, waist-long amber colored hair, tight fitting blue jeans covering mile-long legs and a shirt tied around a slim waist. When she turned her head, Cas could see dark blue eyes glaring at the guy currently touching her.  
“Holy hell.” He didn't have to look to know his boyfriend was in a similar state as him. “She's stunning.” Completely lost for words, Cas just nodded.  
“If you don't take your hands off me right this second...” The girl's threat was left unfinished as the guy sloppily kissed her. Cas could feel Dean stiffen next to him.  
“Hey. I'm gonna go over there and get that ass-hat off of her. Okay?” Again, Cas nodded. He really didn't like that guy touching the girl.

One minute later, all three of them were standing in an alley outside of the bar. Cas was holding a tissue to Dean's head, trying to stop the small cut from bleeding, and the girl sitting on the ground, knees drawn up to her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around herself. Dean looked at her rocking back and forth slightly worried. Suddenly, the girl looked up, fixing Dean with this incredible blue gaze.  
“You punched that guy. Why?” Cas looked at Dean just in time to see him shrug.  
“He touched you. And you clearly told him that he should stop.” Now, she tilted her head to the side.  
“So you beat up a guy for me? Again, why?”

About an hour later, they were sitting in the next diner, eating burgers and drinking beers. Well, in the girl's case milkshake.  
“So,” Dean said through a mouthful of fries. “What brings a beautiful girl to such a small town. And into a dingy bar at that?” The girl, Zoe, chuckled and sipped at her shake.  
“I'm on my way to Louisiana. Hate flying, so I decided to make a road trip. My car broke down near that bar, and I figured I could find out where I can get it fixed around here.” Immediately, Dean started laughing. Zoe tilted her head again and stared at them. Cas chuckled as well and answered the unspoken question.  
“Dean's a mechanic. Owns several little shops all over the place. If anyone can fix your car, it's Dean.” Now, Zoe chuckled as well. Full, red lips curling around a grin.  
“Just my luck then. Although I’m not in a hurry about getting Baby fixed.” She mumbled the last part under her breath and Dean perked up.  
“You call your car Baby?”  
“Uh, yeah. It's an old Chevelle. Took me about a year and a half of saving to be able to afford it. Well, that and three jobs.” Dean smiled again, he loved talking about cars, especially classic ones.  
“What year?”  
“67. The best year for everything with an engine if you ask me.” This time, Cas started laughing and grinned at the girl.  
“Dean always says the exact same thing. Has a 67 Chevy Impala himself. And I think he just fell in love with you.” Dean blushed, but the girl just grinned. “Hey, can I ask why you're going down to Louisiana?” Her smile faded a little and she took a bite from her burger.  
“My father died a few weeks ago. I'm driving down for the funeral. Not that I really want to go.” After seeing the two confused looks being thrown her way, she quickly explained. “My parents aren't exactly of the loving kind. It's 'obey or get punished' with them. My older brother killed himself shortly after I started high school. Don't look like that, that was years ago and I'm over it. Anyway, after that, it was just me and my parents. My strictly religious parents. We disagreed on a bunch of things and as I got older, our arguments got bigger. Um, one of the biggest ones was my view on homosexuality.” Dean stiffened up again and Cas drew in a sharp breath. “They hate homosexuals and think they are immoral sinners. Well, them catching me eating out a cheerleader and coming out as bi didn't really help our relationship. When I got a full-ride to MIT and some other colleges, they threw me out.” At seeing her eyes growing sadder, Cas instinctively reached out and grabbed her hand. Zoe stared at it for a moment, but continued her story anyway. “I like my new life at college, I got my friends, my job and my car. Don't need much more. Then Father just up and dies and now I need to go back. You know, I'm almost glad my car broke down. Now I have an believable excuse to ditch the funeral. Although I'm kind of unhappy about that dick coming along with his grabby hands and his dumbass pickup lines.” She snorted out a laugh and lowered her voice. “'Hey baby, do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes.'” Dean roared with laughter at that and even Cas had to chuckle along.  
“Come on, are you serious?” The blonde-haired mechanic managed to get out between giggles. “Pickup lines shouldn't be that cheesy. They got to have some class at least.” Zoe's smile turned teasing, eyes gleaming with an obvious challenge.  
“Yeah? Like what? And don't say the angel thing. 'Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?' Because that's terrible.” Cas tried to look offended.  
“Hey! That's how Dean and I got together. Don't mock the angel line.” Zoe and Dean were in stitches at that, and soon enough, Cas was laughing with them.

Several more drinks and stupid pickup lines later, Dean woke up in a bed with a very naked and fucked out Zoe and Cas. He felt like he should be freaking out, but seeing Cas subconsciously wrapping his arm around Zoe all the while resting the hand on Dean's chest and Zoe wrapped around both him and Cas, all of their legs sort of tangled together, he simply couldn't. Pulling both of them closer to him and burrowing his head in Zoe's locks, he immediately drifted back to sleep.  
Later that day, after several very deep conversations and tons of cuddling, they all agreed on wanting to try out a relationship. Zoe didn't go to the funeral and after a very loud phone conversation with her mother, she cut of all ties binding her to her family. Both Dean and Cas comforted her after that, each of them in their on way, and, after Dean fixing Zoe's car, it was decided that Zoe was going to spend the rest of her holidays with Dean and Cas. 

(Flashback over)

 

Smiling softly and running his fingers slowly over the bracelet they bought together with Zoe, Cas turned around and opened the door. Going about his routine, hanging up his jacket and kicking off his boots, he heard Dean laughing. Frowning slightly, he walked towards the sound and, upon seeing the cause for Dean's amusement, abruptly stopped in his tracks.  
Sitting on the couch and chatting happily, were Dean and Zoe. Zoe, who was supposed to be at college, hundreds of miles away from them. Zoe, who was looking tired but happy, her voice suddenly not sounding so far away as it did on the phone. Zoe, who was grinning at him right now. Cas tried to say something, but the only thing that came out was a garbled mess of syllables. Dean, predictably, started laughing again. Their red-headed Siren just stood up and opened her arms slightly.  
“Guess who's getting transferred to KU? The college that's just an hour away from here.” This time, as Cas tried to say something again, he only managed a squeak. Then, he decided 'Fuck it' and kissed Zoe, humming softly as she whimpered into his mouth. Damn he missed that.  
Only then remembering something, he pulled back, earning a confused whine from Zoe. Dean was still sitting on the couch, observing them with lust blown eyes. Fixing him with a glare, Cas tried to formulate his question without getting distracted by the soft flesh under his hands.  
“So that's why you canceled our lunch. And why the hell did I have to wait five minutes?” Dean stood up with a dark smile and held up a small, black remote.  
“Preparations, Angel, had to get our Baby Girl ready for what I have planned. Can't wait to see how this one will end.” With that, he ran his free hand over her back to rest on Zoe's ass. Then, he pressed a button on the remote and Zoe whimpered slightly as her knees gave out. Understanding dawning in his eyes, Cas looked at Dean, cock hardening already. Smiling brightly, he drew Dean in for a long, long kiss.  
“Oh, this is going to be. So. Much. Fun.”


	2. Chapter 2: Where the crappy written sex happens

Pulling Zoe away from Cas, Dean threw the redhead over his shoulder and, ignoring her shriek and the slap on his own ass, carried her up to their bedroom. From behind him, he could hear Cas laugh and slowly pull down the zipper of his slacks. Happily grinning, he reached the room, threw Zoe on the bed, grinning wider at the little bounce she did and calmly started rummaging around in the dresser. After turning back to the bed, he nearly dropped the items he had gathered.  
On the bed, Zoe and Cas, Dean hadn't even heard Cas coming into the room, were lying, Zoe on her back and Cas next to her on his side, and making out. Cas held the remote to the vibrating egg in his hand and, after pushing one of the buttons, started kissing her neck as she threw her head back, moaning and trembling at the vibrations inside of her. Slowly, Cas kissed down to the collar of her shirt, mouthing at the sharp collarbone, while he slipped his hand into her jeans.  
“Jesus.” Wow, his voice sounded rough. “Starting without me?” Two pairs of far too blue eyes stared back at him, one completely dark and the other just as dark but glazed over. “That's rude.” Cas, the bastard, grinned at him and, judging by Zoe's sob, started playing with her entrance.  
“Well, since you're taking so long... and Zoe was looking so pretty, all writhing about and clenching on her new toy, I just had to. But, hey, it's always more fun when you're actually on the bed as well. Naked. With the cuffs and the gag. Getting our little Siren tied up and undressing her.” It looked like Zoe wanted to say something, too, but was cut off by Cas turning up the vibrations one or two notches.  
Staring at the pale and lithe body spasming and arching off the bed, the only thing Dean could think was 'Oh, hell yes'. So, he put the stuff on the bed and close to tore of his shirt. Then, as Cas leaned back against the headboard, he knelt down next to Zoe and carefully caressed her sides.  
“Hey, Baby Girl.” Looking up at Dean with big, pleading eyes, begging for some sort of release, she leaned up to brush her lips over his jaw. “Put your arms up over your head, would you?” When she immediately obeyed, he kissed her softly and bound her wrists to the headboard, right next to Cas's hips. Seeing his opportunity, Dean palmed his boyfriend's crotch, stroking the rather impressive erection through the boxers.  
“Dean.” Cas's tone was warning, causing Dean to grin and tighten his grip. At her boyfriend's groan, Zoe arched up slightly again, flexing her arms and wriggling her fingers, whining softly.  
“Looks likes she wants your dick, Angel. Pity she's all chained up and can't reach it, though. Or wrap her lips around it and suck.” The raven-haired man's head hit the wall as he groaned again. Then, he slapped Dean's hand away and put it on Zoe's neck.  
“Stop fucking teasing and get her ready. Before anyone of you two comes anywhere near my cock, each of you is going to come at least twice.” Zoe whimpered softly and pushed back onto Dean's hand.  
She had always been really submissive, and loved getting orders from Dean and Cas. Cas, on the other hand, was strictly dominating, loved seeing both of his partners turning to putty under his hands or sometimes just at his word. Dean was like the middle piece of them. He liked dominating Zoe, but loved being dominated by Cas. When it was just him and Cas, he had been a complete sub, only exploring his more dominating side after Zoe came into the picture. When their Siren had been off at college and their sex mostly consisted of phone and skype calls, he had switched, depending on who he was currently talking to or who was talking to him.  
Right now, he switched seamlessly into his role as dom. Running his hands down her sides and under the tank top she wore.  
“Okay, Baby Girl, you heard Cas. Think we can manage that?” Another breathless whimper from red, red lips and he turned to Cas again. “Do I need to gag her though? She sounds so pretty when she's coming apart.” Cas raised an eyebrow and stared for a while, but nodded finally. “Great. Thanks. Heard that, Baby? I get to hear all those pretty little sounds you make. What exactly do you want me to do with her?” Again, Dean turned to Cas.  
“Eat her out. I'll control the egg. Baby Girl?” She acknowledged her partner with a tilt of her head. “You can come whenever you like for all I care, though I let Dean have the last word on this. The one thing I'm ordering you to do now, is to stay as still as possible. You just came back home, I'd hate to have to use the riding crop on you.” Dean moaned and closed his eyes briefly, trying to keep that image out of his head for now. He'd probably bring it up later, though. “Dean? Is she allowed to come whenever?” The mechanic nodded hastily. “Okay. So, you eat her out for a while, only touching yourself when I tell you to, then, when you're hard again, you'll fuck her. Slow and gentle. The hard and fast pace will be done by me later. Understood?” This time, both of them nodded. “Good. Get her top out of the way and take her jeans off. With your teeth.” Dean frowned.  
“How the hell am I supposed to open her jeans with my teeth?” In response Cas simply huffed and reached over to open the button.  
“I think you can figure out the part with the zipper. Baby Girl, lift your hips.” Zoe had already gotten into her sub mindset and obeyed without hesitation. “What? Get on with it. Don't have forever. Both of us have to get to work and, well, I don't know what Siren has planned for tomorrow, but I'm pretty sure she'd like to get some sleep in as well. So. Jeans. Off. Now.” Yup, Zoe was in her mindset, and Cas was in his.   
Again ignoring Zoe's whimper, Dean set to his task and carefully pulled the zipper on her jeans down. Then, he gripped the waistband in a rough bite and started pulling. When he got to her hips, he immediately replaced the worn fabric with his hands and stroked her hipbones with his thumbs. The lower he pulled the jeans down, the lower his hands went. When the jeans finally got off, he had her ankles in a gentle grip.  
To get her top out of the way, he had to get up again, running his hands up her legs again, putting them over his shoulders as he went. At this point, their little Siren was reduced to incoherent babbling. As Dean's hips were flush against hers and he had her top pulled up to her arms, he knew why. Or more like felt it.  
The vibrating egg was buzzing away at a pretty high setting and, judging by how soaked through her panties were and how much she was whimpering, it was right against her g-spot. Dean looked up at Cas, finally getting the goddamn top over her head and pushed up to her elbows. His boyfriend's eyes sparkled.  
“It's not even on its highest setting yet and look at how wet she is.” And Cas was right. Zoe got really wet really fast, but this right now must have been a new record. Dean nodded shakily.   
“Yup, she's soaking the goddamn sheets already.” Whoa, his voice was huskier than usual.  
“Probably going to make an even bigger mess when she comes.” Damn bastard sounded so fucking amused. “Take off her bra and panties and start eating her out, please.” Sometimes, Dean really wanted to bite the black-haired professor. But, dammit, he really wanted to get his mouth on Zoe. So, he tore off the violet lace-panties and tried taking off the matching bra. Who the hell invented these things anyway? And who thought it would be a good idea to make them so goddamn hard to open?  
Finally, fucking finally, he managed to get the damn thing off. Staring at the pale, soft flesh, he gently ran his teeth over the sensitive nipples. Cas cursed softly as Zoe groaned and arched of the bed. Hearing both his lovers moaning, Dean chuckled slightly and kissed his way down to Zoe's pussy. When he licked a broad stripe over her, Zoe dropped back down on the bed and gave a choked off sob.  
“Fuck.” Cas's curse rang over Zoe's sobbing and babbling. “So fucking hot.” Encouraged by this, Dean started eating her out in earnest. “Jesus, fuck. Dean, touch yourself.” Wrapping one of his hands around Zoe's thigh, moving her hips in a gentle rhythm that had her moaning even louder, and reached down to start fulfilling Cas's order. “Firm grip but slow movement.” Dean complied and the egg got turned up another notch. The red-head yelped and arched of the bed even more, effectively rolling her hips against Dean. When Dean helplessly moaned against her clit, her whole body dropped back down and started shaking.  
“Dean, you can move a bit faster now. And twist your wrist when you reach your head. You come when I say so.” Shakily, Dean nodded and, at the increased pace, was only able to rest his head against Zoe's hip and pant against her.  
“Please, Cas, please. Turn it up again. Please please please pleeeeeease.” Zoe started begging as the egg got turned off. “Please, Cas, please. I'll do anything if you just turn it up aga... oh god.” Cas grinned as he turned the egg on his highest setting suddenly and effectively cut her off.  
“Hey, that's the first thing you said since we started playing.” As suddenly as the egg got turned on, as fast and hard Zoe came, screaming a garbled version of their names. Cas chuckled. “That was cute, Siren. I'm gonna turn it down now, okay?” She didn't seem to understand what exactly had been said, but she got the gist of it and her breathing slowly turned back to normal. “Dean?” Blue eyes turned on the blonde-haired man. “How are you holding up?”  
“Marvelous. I'm... basically jerking... off... and right next to... my face Siren did one... of the... the hottest... things ever... but I'm n... not allowed to... come... I'm... splendid, really.” By now, Cas had undone the shackles and had pulled Zoe's upper body up, so she was resting on his chest, the egg still slowly buzzing inside of her. While Cas outright laughed at how breathless Dean sounded, Zoe just grinned lazily.  
“Cool. What do you say, Siren. Should we let him come yet?” Dean groaned slightly as Zoe only raised her eyebrow.  
“Maybe.” Now, Dean opened his mouth to start begging. “Actually, yes.” Dean smiled softly at that, a more grimaced version of his trademark smirk, and Cas grinned and nuzzled her cheek. Then he turned up the vibrations again, causing Zoe's head to drop back on his chest.  
“Okay. So both of you will come when I say so.” He looked at both of his lovers, both of them had their eyes closed and their mouths hanging open. Both of them so close to the edge. It was beautiful. “Jesus, you two are so beautiful.” Now, they looked completely wrecked. Neither of those two knew how to work with compliments. Well, now he had enough time to work on that. Cas smiled slightly as one of Dean's hands reached up to wrap around Zoe's smaller one. “Okay. Both of you. Come. Now.”  
Another beautiful sight. The two of them came apart the exact same second, both of them completely silent and riding out the waves of pleasure. The difference in their skin tones was fascinating as well. Dean was always tanned from being outdoors a lot and Zoe was incredibly pale, a genetic defect keeping her from actually tanning. Now, tanned strong fingers were wrapped around pale thin ones, holding onto each other for dear life as it seemed. Next to Dean and Cas, Zoe sometimes looked a bit like a ghost.  
Cas had gotten a lost in his own musings and forgetting were he was for a moment, seeing as Dean was suddenly crawling over to him and Zoe to kiss the aforementioned red-head.  
Dean ran his hand over Zoe's toned stomach, down to her pussy and slowly worked out the egg. Cas raised his eyebrow.  
“Sorry, Angel. But I don't think we can actually follow through with the rest of the plan. I'm tired as fuck and Dean's probably as well.” Dean nodded at her words and, as if to prove Zoe's point, yawned loudly. Cas chuckled. “We could jack you off, though. Hate to give you blue balls.”  
“You don't have to. And you know you need to tell me if something's wrong or you just don't want to keep going. I'm good. For now, anyway. Let's get cleaned up and then go to sleep.” Soft snores from his left caused Cas to look at Dean. “Or, apparently, we're going to sleep now and clean up later.” Zoe chuckled softly at that.  
“This is gonna be disgusting tomorrow.” She felt around for the blanket and, after gripping onto the edge of it, pulled it up around all three of them. Cas laughed, pulled both Dean and Zoe closer and pressed a kiss to Zoe's nose.  
“I missed you, Siren. Don't think I've said it yet.”  
“Missed you, too, Angel. Glad to be here now, though. I love you. And that big snoring lump over there too, of course.” At being mentioned, Dean rolled onto his stomach and threw one of his arms over both of them. While Cas started laughing silently, Zoe cuddled closer to both men and closed her eyes. “Night, Cas. Love you.” The aforementioned raven-haired man kissed the top of her head carefully.  
“Love you, too, Siren.” And they all drifted off into a deep, deep sleep.

 

And if the next morning, Cas woke up to Dean slowly riding him while he was three fingers deep in Zoe, none of them was spectacularly surprised.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, yes... I'm not a native english speaker so again sorry for any mistakes on that part.


End file.
